Sophie Digby luxes out at the Alila Seminyak Penthouse.

So it’s on! The Yakkers have been lent a penthouse for a night (the Alila Penthouse at Alila Seminyak, to be exact) … and we have promised to behave!

Up the lift, as you do, and we get to #307? Isn’t it supposed to say “Penthouse”? Not sure we like things that understated (typical Alila chic) …thankfully the amazing butler is called Prada, things are looking up.

With eight hundred and eleven metres squared of living space, three bedrooms sleeping up to six adults or six adults and three children, with an 18-metres squared infinity plus rooftop lap pool that stretches into the expanse of the Indian Ocean, we are here for a Yak brainstorming (we do storm occasionally). But how to storm with this view? So distracting!

In fact we have decided that the term brainstorming has a negative vibration to it – sounds long, drawn out and relentless – so we’ve decided on a ‘mind meeting’ to chat about Social Media and where we want to be positioning ourselves (right at the exclusive top of course, just like this penthouse).

Butlers, canapés and Champagne at the ready, MacBooks on charge and we’re set. We delve into a couple of pre-filed Social Media marketing tools, glance at what LinkedIn is up to, discuss Instagram, download an app or six and it’s back to the view, the pool and enjoying this split-level living room with decked terrace, pool and undistracted view.

I’ve parked my gear in the master bedroom. Although another two generous-sized bedrooms are on offer, I have a penchant for spaces where the bathrooms are as big as the bedrooms. Something about that amount of space that oozes luxury, decadence, opulence. Filling this expanse are the side-by-side closets (with all the buffing, robing and hanging accoutrements necessary for a week or more’s stay), the obvious ‘his’ and ‘her’ sinks, or should we be saying ‘his’ and ‘his’ sinks? Or two trans-sinks? (I am quite confused as to what is gender appropriate these days and don’t have a lawyer on speed dial). On the inner wall side, glassed-in cubicles for the porcelain (loo/toilet call it what you will) and the shower. Then taking up a good quarter of the room, a rather large, round, gleaming white bath tub. No ordinary tub, mind. This one comes with jets and bubbles and a lot of buttons. Might need a brainstorm to work out which ones to push and when.

The outer wall is not wall, but all-curtained, sliding glass doors, with a wrap-around terrace that passes from the bathroom, past the bedroom, and leads to the split level decking and pool. The terrace proper, that edges part of the infinity pool, sports sun beds, lounge and dining areas and cocktail tables. We, of course, in true Yak style need to move the furniture around. The sofas move to the front of the terrace with the view and the dining table moves middle and centre… More time is spent sitting, chatting and relaxing, drinking in the view than actually ‘dining’, so we all now have a cocktail in hand, with a front-seat view of the Indian Ocean drinking in both as sea breezes and canapés waft passed. It’s a great entertaining space, so we invite some friends over. Suffice to say whilst we did not misbehave, we did thoroughly enjoy the bubbles, the cocktails, the wine, the canapés, the meals both in-room and at The Restaurant, and of course the pool, the view and the privilege. Alila – it really is the only way to stay. On top.

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